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Roadtrip to the Moon

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( On July 16, 1969, a group of brave souls went on a roadtrip to the moon. Armed with only a spaceship full of state-of-the-art equipment and a freezer full of Hot Pockets, these men conquered space. Or the space between Florida and the moon, at least. Anyway, this is their story. Kind of. )

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02/24/2010 00:45:04

But we just passed the rest stop.

Buzz:Houston, I gotta pee.
Houston:You just went.
Buzz:I gotta go again.
Houston:Neil, please hide the Capri Suns...
Neil:Roger that.
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08/07/2009 14:56:17

To the person who thought it was a good idea to bring his ant farm on the trip:

Not cool. Not cool at all. Now I’m itching like I spent the weekend in Tijuana.

Neil.

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07/20/2009 18:13:40

Will someone send up a Bedazzler? My spacesuit needs some bling and the glitter-covered macaroni just isn’t cutting it.

I look like I had a one night stand with a space stripper. This shit’s everywhere.

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07/20/2009 17:29:09

I landed on the moon. But speaking of celestial bodies – Marilyn Monroe, amirite?

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07/20/2009 12:29:25

The drink I took to the moon, bitches. Also, gin.

The drink I took to the moon, bitches.

Also, gin.

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07/18/2009 02:00:05
Buzz:Hey... Neil... Guess where we're going?
Neil:Uh, we're supposed to be going to the moon.
Buzz:WRONG! URANUS! Bwahahahahahaha!
Neil:You're the reason I drink.
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07/17/2009 23:00:00

The Man on the Moon.

The Man on the Moon.

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07/17/2009 22:02:24

"Star light, star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Get up in some bitch tonight"

--Michael Collins, Command Module Pilot
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07/17/2009 21:33:00

Dear Diary,

How does one pack to go to the moon? I mean, are we talking about shorts weather? Is it supposed to be cold so I’ll need a parka? NASA doesn’t fill me in on anything. They just told me to be at the Kennedy Space Center at noon. Nothing else.

It’s total bullcrap. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to eat lunch beforehand. I mean, what if my blood sugar dips and I start getting all fuzzy-headed and goofy? That’s just not safe, man.

You know what? Screw NASA, I’m bringing some Pop Tarts and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it. I’m Buzz flippin’ Aldrin. You can’t cage me. I’m like a wild tiger. Except wilder.

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